On Gathering and Spending Things

Some items on my makeshift altar.

Some things in life can be expensive, like Sunday clothes or that new devotional bible that cost about 70 dollars while still on sale. A church building is also expensive, since most of the money offering at the churches I've attended go to keeping the lights on and the building maintained. In the grand scheme of things, unless the congregation is wealthy as a whole unit, very little money will go to helping those around the community and beyond.

I've discovered that in starting this path, things can be expensive as well. I've bought little stones and many many sticks of incense.  I've also rediscovered old things and re-purposed them, like an old Mancala game board that is now serving as an altarpiece for candles, stones and a little sake cup (seen in this photo).
Most of my money is going toward books and the daily incense burn. Luckily for me, I can get it cheaply and nearby. Tea lights are also inexpensive and come in bulk. I will be lighting a lot of them because of events not only in my life, but in the lives of my friends.

Over the years, I've begun journeying on this path at least three times before. Each time, I gathered supplies. Each time, I discarded them again because of the guilt I associated with "witchcraft". I never threw them away, but I did shut them up in two big boxes in the back of my closet for a total of about 5 years. My Christian books went into one box and my Pagan books and supplies went into another. I did this because they were both yelling at me incessantly and I couldn't take it anymore.

Now that I am making peace with it all, I am finding things I forgot I had. I am also finding new uses for old things. Lastly, I am finding more and more reasons to end up at my altar:  The friend who experiences chronic pain that no medication can help any longer. The friend whose sister is suddenly in labor at 6 months. The potential war in Syria. My brother who is overseas. My uncle and grandmother in the Northeast United States. Some insight I suddenly had into my own weaknesses.

The altar calls me, and I sit and talk to YHWH while burning more and more scents into the air. By now, my room smells like an abundance of smoke and perfume.

Like the objects that make up my overall altar, I am gathering my thoughts about what I had been ignoring or overlooking. The things I burn are more for me than YHWH. They are a sign that these things are on my heart, and that by sending my thoughts, hopes and fears up into the smoke and flames, perhaps they will reach unseen ears a little faster.

Perhaps its just comforting to see something being manipulated instead of just feeling my heart wrenching back and forth.

At night, everything burns, and I write. In the morning, the altar is tidied up before I leave for the day.
By evening, I am reading more material to better understand the things I do, and at night I am back at my altar.

Some say that getting involved in Paganism (or Wicca, since more people are familiar with that path) is expensive. It's expensive in books, supplies, travel, and especially time.
Well, I would disagree with that. It's no more expensive than maintaining a Sunday only wardrobe, or buying a new bible or set of devotional books and CDs. The only difference is that if you are a minor and attending a traditional Christian way, these things are bought for you by someone else. However, rest assured that someone paid for them, and they were not cheap. Travel to a church building 1-3 times a week is also expensive... as are trips to retreats and so forth.

Spirituality is free, but the accouterments of outward devotion are expensive. This expense in money, time, materials and travel are necessary for some. I know they are for me right now. I don't take special pride in it. It's something to think about for the future, though.

If what we are seeking has nothing to do with money, then why do we spend so much of it to prove to ourselves that we care?
Interesting question.

It is one that I will think about with every dollar I spend and save in the trek onward.