Silence

After writing yesterday's post, I spent all of today in silence, letting different sounds and memories and music run wild in my brain as if Frankenstein had created an EP record out of fragments of others and set it on a turntable to play.

I watched the sun rise. Listened as my cat howled for me around noon, and then emerged to feed us both.

I checked my plants: two bonsai trees and a spearmint plant.

One bonsai is rather healthy.  I had  repotted it only last week and it has grown enough new roots to be completely stable. I misted and watered it.  Checked the moss, that it was still green.  All is well.

The other two-- the two I watched after most carefully -- were both slowly dying. 
The second bonsai had experienced root rot at the nursery, and I had almost carelessly pulled away the roots as I attempted to clean and repot the tiny tree. They practically fell off on their own.

Left with hardly anything to call a root left, I carefully repotted, watered, fed, and misted it. Ever since, it has slowly been drying out and dropping leaves despite every attempt to keep it comfortable. The leaves are not turning black, but they are more brittle than paper. It is a dead tree, barely living.

In a desperate attempt to save it, I replaced the rocky bonsai soil (which I found to be holding a lot of water...tsk. So much for draining)  with regular potting soil. It was in normal soil when I bought it...maybe it will do better this way?

Lastly, the spearmint plant looked no better. Despite daily care and some feeding, it also slowly began to die. It likes sun but drops its leaves. Appreciates water and misting, but dries again to new death every morning.

I cut some of the bare spindly vines so it wouldn't have to worry about them, anymore. There are two more tall vines with small clumps of green leaves at the top. I leave them. There is also a small group of new growth at the bottom of the pot. I mist it, check it.

Then I move all three plants further into the sun. I'm hoping that since they all respond well to sunlight, the last hours of this bright   winter day will be helpful.

I secretly hope the warmth of the sun will encourage my sick bonsai to root, and my spearmint to develop into a larger plant that can be moved into a larger pot.

Sometimes, we do all we can and things still wither before our eyes. I love my three little plants. Besides my cat, they keep me company and give me something to fuss over besides myself.

I find that I need that ability to care for something. It fills a hole in me.

But like all caregivers, you do everything you can and still it's not enough.  Will my two plants pull through?

Will I? (That is another post)

Like with my moods, I will give them all the forethought and nourishing I can.

We shall see what happens tomorrow, just like we did today.